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My wife left me a few years ago for a cat she dated in high school. I never divorced her, just kinda swept the situation under the rug and moved on with my life. Not the best of ideas, but who gives a fuck, I was moving to Amsterdam in a few weeks, fuck it, right? WRONG!!! last night while in my hot tub.... my cell phone rings.

Doc: Hello sir, yes I'm Doctor Maxwell calling from County General.

Drunken Me: Okay, what?

Doc: Yes, I'm calling on behalf of your wife, Biatch (not really her name). She tried to commit suicide a few hours ago and your name was put as reference in case of an emergency.

Drunken Me: Why the fuck would she do that shit?

Doc: Uhh, Maybe because you are her husband sir.

Drunken Me: Hey doc.

Doc: Yes?

Drunken Me: Didn't you notice that you called a phone number out of the country?

Doc: Uhh, yes.

Drunken Me: So it's safe to assume that with me being here and her being there, that I aint with that trifling hoe? Right.

Doc: I suppose.

Drunken Me: With that being said, you tell her I'll see her in hell since she tried to off herself, and make sure you send the bill to the nigga she's with. Fuck you, good night. click

Not ten minutes later, I get a call from my in-laws, asking me to take her back and all this bullshit. Apparently, she's been so fucked up on whatever she could get her hands on, came up hot on a drug test and got fired. Here lies my dilemma, I said for better or for worse and all that sappy bullshit, but I'm torn between crazy psycho bitch or fine European pussy. People of Mustyworld, what the fuck should I do? I'm leaning towards the pussy!!! Holla back


*edit I left that bitch, went to Amsterdam, went broke and came back and now the bitch is begging to get me back