A Man Once Tried to take over the World

A man once tried to take over the world.

The Universe will be mine. I shall ignore those close to me who tell me not to. Everyone will obey my command. They will do what I want when I want it done. Everyone will become my slave and I'll be the master of the Universe. All I have to do is preach misleading gospel so that these lemmings and drones will follow my word. When I have them under my command, they'll spread my word. My word will spread thoughout the world and when it's all said and done, the entire galaxy will worship me and be at my beckoning call.

He failed.

The world will be mine. Everybody will obey my command. They will do what I want when I want it done. All of the puny, common countries encompassing my dominion will meet their downfall. I will rise to the top of a dictatorship and become a fearless leader. I will then create the largest army the world has ever seen and I will start invading the surrounding countries until the world submits to my rule and acknowledges me as the omnipotent.

He failed.

This country will be mine. I will invest money into my own television show. This show will be placed on the Monday night 8 PM timeslot on NBC. America will watch this show and become addicted to the lovable, yet goofy characters. Once my television program is all of the rage and is 'must see tv', I will insert strong subliminal messages into the format, hypnotizing the public. Everyone in America will be my servant.

He failed.

This state will be mine. I will protest for everything the small communities fight for. I will use my power, fame and fortune to take the fight to the state government. Once the panel listens to my ideas, I will rise to the top. Every community in the state will support me and my decisions. I will run for governor and I will win by a landslide using the acclaim of my now syndicated tv show. I will be a celebrity, a leader, and I will run the state the way I want to. Everyone in this state will become my chattel.

He failed.

This community will be mine. Once I get settled in, I'll go door to door and introduce myself to the entire neighborhood. I'll have weekend barbecues in my backyard. The neighborhood will grow to love me. I'll mow the lawns and babysit the kids of the entire community. I'll be the leader everyone relies on. Once everyone trusts me, I'll take over the community! No need for an explanation, I'm a leader.

He failed. Miserably.

This marriage will be mine. I'm the dominant male figure and I'm married to a woman. It's only right that she do what I say. I pay the bills, I own the house, and I bring home the bacon. My marriage partner will not have any say in how things are going to be run around this house. I'm the man, I'm the leader, and this marriage is run by me.

He failed. And lost all his possessions in the process.

A man once tried to take over the world. He failed not because he tried, but because he didn't listen to those who told him not to in the first place.