Be thankful you have a job...you could be like me, sitting around and smoking grade A weed and hash all day and blogging while drinking coronas under the beautiful california sun....its a hard life I tell ya.
But if you get bored at work...feel free to liven things up a bit, Have Some Fun!!!!!
Maybe you could...
Put a peice of onion or a clove of garlic inside the mouthpiece of a phone. Give it some time for it to fester and build up a strong odor. Then call them and keep them on the phone for as long as possible.
It is allways a good habit to lock your computer before heading off for coffee or a smoke. When someone forgets and leaves a Word document or an email open, type a single word somewhere in the text. “f*ck” or so will do nicely. They’ll never notice and send it out.
Get a hold of someone's cell phone and change the greeting banner to say "NO SERVICE". Many cell phones have greeting banners on them that you can personalize to say whatever you want them to and it stays on there when you're not using your phone. Also, when there is no service where you are, most cell phone companies have a banner that pops up on your screen saying "no service".
Take a can of non gel shaving cream, and put it in a freezer. When it is frozen remove the bottom of the can and put it in co worker's drawer. When it melts it expands and explodes all over everything.
Go into MS Word or similar program on co-worker's computer, and add an entry to the AutoCorrect feature. This is a very simple prank that will send the novice user into a frenzy. Configure the AutoCorrect option to replace the word "the" with the phrase "you suck!". They will usually panick and start scanning for viruses.
Take clear tape and tape the underside of the mouse. Make sure you take the sticky end of the tape and apply it to the bottom of the mouse so it locks the ball in place. The victim will most likely check the connections in the back, reinstall drivers, reboot, etc., before they realize what has happened.
Do a "Print Screen" of the user's desktop, and then paste the image from the clipboard to a photo program, and save the image as a bitmap. Then, set the 'snapshot' of their desktop as the actual desktop wallpaper. (You'll have to hide the Windows status bar, and move all their desktop icons into a folder, which you can hide conspicuously in the corner or something.) The user will see their desktop as always, but everything on it will appear to be frozen when they try to click on it...sending them into a rebooting and virus scanning fit!
This will mostly only work with people with very little PC knowledge. Stick in a floppy in there floppy drive. They will be unable to boot up windows until the disk is out. This is fun to watch.
Try to find a very obnoxious CD laying around. Preferably a reggae or rap CD. Pop it in their CD ROM. Put up the sound full blast by double clicking on the volume control on the bottom right. On normal configurations the audio CD will ******** when windows first starts up. The person starting up there PC in the morning will definitely be embarrassed.
This is for that special person you just cant stand in the office, the one who talks on the phone all day with their boyfriend/girlfriend and gets personal e-mail all day. Go into their e-mail and change their defaults to autmatically "blind carbon copy" their boss or supervisor. Heads will roll!
Change the coffee in the office coffe maker to decafe. Wait about three weeks(or untill you think everybody has gotten over their caffine addiction)and switch to expresso!
Try "password securing" someone's screen saver. First I suggest changing the screen saver to "scrolling marque" and inserting your own word or phrase, "Mr. Jones (president or supervisor) eats SHlT" or something to that effect.
With someone who is on the phone a lot during work - This works if you have phones that the handset comes apart. Take the handset apart and put scotch tape over the mouthpeice inside. They can still be heard, but they have to talk loud to be heard. The next day take it off, and put it in the earpeice. Usually they will be yelling to the other person on the line the next day, and won't be able to hear them. When they complain about the phone, and get a replacement, do it on the next phone. After about a week you will notice the calls to be down considerably.
Depending where you are at you may have a cafeteria in you place of work. Every week most of them put out a menu so you know what they are serving. Usually it is done on Word or Excel, and not extremely fancy. With a little work, matching fonts, and images you can make your own menus, and post them by your desk. We had one co-worker avoid the cafeteria for 2 weeks because of the selection "fish head stew" etc... before he caught on. Works great with picky eaters.
My absolutely most favorite prank I have saved for last. It is so simple to do and yields such nice results. Simply pop out the 'm' and 'n' key on someone's keyboard and reverse the two. Any flat tool will work. Just pry it with little pressure and they will easily come right off. Then just sit back and watch the confusion.
.Photocopy an entire dictionary and fax it to the CFO.
2.Call phone-sex numbers and transfer the calls at random.
3."Accidentally" send a personal e-mail to the entire company voicing your disapproval of your boss's constant reference to the CEO as an "ugly, stupid, lazy, spineless pussy".
4.Schedule a series of important departmental meetings and forget to show up to them.
5.Send blank sheets of paper via interoffice mail. (Marked "urgent" and "confidential", of course.) Remember to send a few to the mailroom; they'll especially get a kick out of it.
6.Replace a commonly-accessed file on the computer network with a scanned image of your ass. (An updated version of an old classic.)
7.Anonymously post quotes from Adolph Hitler on a company bulletin board. (Quotes about "team spirit" can be particularly inspiring.)
8.Adulterate other people's lunches: take bites out of sandwiches, sprinkle bacon bits in vegetarians' salads (also works well with Orthodox Jews), and spike the thermos of iced tea with grain alcohol.
9.See how long you can hide a paper bag full of tuna fish in the back of the refrigerator before someone notices it. (Writing someone else's name on the bag goes without saying.)
Call one of your co-workers and tell them that you are a producer from the Ricki Lake Show and that someone from their past would like to confront them or reunite with them on the show. Then talk about airline reservations, hotel accommodations, etc. When they ask for more information, say that you're not able to give them any information and they will find out the day of the show. Their brains will be working overtime trying to think of who would want to confront them that nothing will get done that day.
Advertise a colleague’s job and leave their number with extension for contact. Make sure it is well paying and with low qualifications.
When your boss or colleague goes away on vacation, pour water and scatter grass seeds, cress seeds or lettuce seed onto the carpeted area in their office. With decent light, the seeds should germinate on the damp carpet and the person should find a growing carpet upon their return
Buy a box of donuts on your way home from work on Monday. Leave them out so they completely dry up and harden. On Friday, take the box of stale, stone-hard donuts to work and leave them near the coffee maker so everyone will see them and try one.
Take an empty salt shaker and put a small amount of lemon juice in the bottom. Use a napkin to create a small area at the top of the shaker and fill it with baking soda. When someone uses the shaker, the baking powder and lemon juice react just like an elementary school science fair volcano.
Find some plastic or aluminum ashtrays and make a small hole in the middle of the bottom. Stick the wick of a firecracker up through the hole and tape the firecracker underneath. Trim the wick and camouflage it with ashes and a few butts. Then, when a cigarette is put out next...
Fill water glasses and turn them upside down by firmly holding a sturdy piece of card paper (postcards are perfect) over the top and flipping. Slide the card paper out so the filled glass is sitting upside down on the counter. Leave them there as it looks like they are drying. When someone picks up the glasses to put them away they will be flooded.
If you are working in an office where two computer workstations are set up back to back you can pull this classic off. Before the person who works across from you gets to their computer, unplug their keyboard and plug yours into their computer. Then open the word processor on his terminal. When he sits down start typing something like this (imagine what the HAL9000 may say). A sample conversation may go something like this:
Terminal: Hello Jim (victim’s name)
Jim: What the @$#%’s going on?
Terminal: Are you doing Jim?
Jim: Holy @$#%, the @$#% computer knows my name!!!!!
This can go on for as long as you can keep a straight face
Remove all screws, fasteners, etc. from the person's desk and/or cubicle walls. It is possible that you may have to leave just enough (if you must and almost completely loose) to maintain the structural integrity -- at least enough until a slight touch or breeze knocks it apart
Place a note on colleague's desk regarding a bogus project that reads, "I need those monthly BSK numbers ASAP!" Then watch your panic stricken co-worker wander around confused for the rest of the day trying to figure out who wrote the note and what “monthly BSK numbers” are.
Take ink pens from the desk of a co-worker, remove all the ink cartridges and put them back.
Get a few sets of post it notes and glue them together. Let them dry for a day and then swap the glued post it's with the ones on a co-workers desk.
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