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don't know if someone has posted a similar story to this at some point but this is a tale of great misfortune and woe.

Names have been changed in this one.

Julia was one of the dirtiest girls I had come across (no pun intended) in a long time. She enjoyed sordid sex and there was nothing she wouldn't try. Except the glorious holy grail, anal. I had been trying to win her round for a few weeks. But nothing had worked. I had taken her out for expensive meals, I had bought her gifts, I had tried sweet talking her and even emotional black mail.

"Babe if you really love me you will at least give it a go."

"Fuck you in the asshole, you asshole" (yet again no pun intended)

It seemed hopeless. Until one day whilst we were laying on the bed together talking crap she said something that would change my life forever.

"Hun, you know the anal thing?" She said tentatively.

"Yes, Babe?" I said my ears and other parts of my anatomy pricking up.

"Well Maria was telling me that her and her boyfriend do it regularly and that it's amazing." the next eleven words came out very slowly and very cautiously. "I was wondering if you still want to try it?"

Well I didn't need a written invitation. I stripped her quicker than a fat boy stripping a mars bar ice cream on a particularly hot day. Clothes off and little Timmy ready to go we got into the swing of things. Oral came and went and we were in the middle of fucking when I asked her if she was ready. She nodded. Oh thank you god, you know I'll be there first thing Sunday. I thought to myself.

I went down on her again and whilst "sticking my tongue in her holiest of holies" to quote pulp fiction, I slowly slid a finger into her arse. She whimpered in pleasure as her muscles tensed and relaxed. YES! This was a goer! I told her that everything would be fine, rolled her over and slowly began pushing into her. She loved it. I've never heard a girl make noises like she did that night. It became almost scary how much she was enjoying it.

"Do it harder, do it fucking faster!" She moaned.

I happily obliged and began to drill like a pro when something unsightly happened.

"Baby I'm going to cum, shoot over my back!" I had held my orgasm back for too long and welcomed those words.

Well I'm not going to argue with a girl in the throws of an orgasm. So I began to withdraw when it happened. I don't know if you already know this but during anal, muscles tense and relax. As I withdrew, Julia relaxed a little more than I had planned.

She farted. Problem is, she didn't just fart. Farting I could deal with. You guessed it. Shit sprayed out of her arse like a fire hose. It went fucking everywhere. All over my stomach, legs and cock. All over the bed sheets and everywhere else in between.

"What the fuck!?" I screamed. Julia spun around with a look of complete terror on her face.

"Uh, ba......I." She stumbled and stuttered but didn't quite know what to say. I ran to the bathroom to get myself cleaned up. I could hear her crying in the bedroom but I was too pissed to go and comfort her. Plus the bitch was covered in shit. After I had gotten all of my girlfriend love shit off myself, I made my way through to the bedroom.
She threw herself at me screaming.

"This is your fault you motherfucker!" I was amazed. My fucking fault? I wasn't the one who had just sprayed shit all over the bedroom.

"What!?" I was stunned.

"You and your fucking "It'll be fine babe, you'll love it everyone's doing it!""

I gathered my shit together (man this story is full of them isn't it?) and headed for the door. I told Julia I would call her tomorrow and left.

It wasn't long after that that we decided maybe we shouldn't see each other anymore. Although I would never hold that shit against her.